Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Law of averages

There are lots of things that make me average.

I'm a size 12 with a size 9 foot. Average
I have 3 kids. Over, but pretty close to average
I live in the suburbs. Average
I watch all the summer blockbusters and love them. Average
At Oscar time, I watch only the Best Picture Nominees. Average
I live in a high ranch house with a front and back yard. Average
We have 2 cars. Average
My age group (15-64) is the age of the average Canadian...

But some days I feel anything but average. Almost extraordinary. Like I could write a best-seller about my life. And they'd make a movie based on it starring... um, Jada Pinkett Smith... Moving on

I paddle, I play the ukulele, I bake a pretty mean cake, I cosplay, I've run a marathon (but never again, mind you), I hate to cook, I have a successful marriage (I could write volumes on that alone), I can knit, I like to write, I kick ass at trivia, I have a bit of a potty mouth... Overall, I'm a pretty fucking darned interesting person. Anything but average.

So by that logic, nobody is really average, are they? But doesn't that in itself make everyone average? Oh, my brain...


Friday, July 10, 2015

Summer fun photo dump

Hey, everybody! I've been having a wonderful, restful summer. I'm trying desperately to get passports issued to the kids who we're taking on a trip to the UK in August. It'll be the last family trip that we pay for since they are nearly all adults now and will, by next year (please God), have jobs and lives of their own that can't be disrupted. I'm really looking forward to this last blast. Here are some photos of the things we've been getting up to since my last post.

Audrey had a birthday. She's 17 now. Where does the time go?

I finally got myself out to Quyon to see Henry race. I think I may have been bad luck because he crashed in the last lap. But doesn't he look good right there? Le sigh...

I lost my mum 20 years ago. Man, it seems like yesterday. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. 

I made challah for the neighbour

My teams The Dunrobin Dames and The ORCC Dukes and Dames got some bling at the Dragonboat festival 

The weather was shitty, but we came away with a gold a silver and a bronze. Sweet deal!

A couple of days later on Canada Day, I paddled down the Rideau Canal with some friends. Man, I live in the most beautiful city!

Audrey and I visited Auntie Bernice in the old folks home (are they still called that?). She entertained us with "Please Release Me" on the piano

Audrey and her speedboat hair on a visit to my sister- and brother-in-law's place by the water

Incredibly and impressively, Scott waterskied for the first time in 30 years. I'm not allowed to mention that he pulled a groin muscle.

Henry went tubing

I just sat there with the wind in my "hair"

This is why I love to get away. Seeing these three hanging together without devices

Elliott and I decided to have a summer beer taste test

Six cans later and we blearily decided that this was our favourite

Comfy shoes bought for our UK walkabout

Mud mask deployed for lovely clean pores
And that's it for now. I have to wander away now to shower after my run this morning and find 2 guarantors for those damned passports. There's always something to do. But I love that my summer off gives me stress-free time to do it. See you soon...


Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Just call me Superteacher!

Actually, please don't. I prefer "Miss Karen".

I've been off work for summer holidays for 2 weeks. In those two weeks, since I work very close to my school, I've seen 3 of my students while I've been out and about. I loved seeing them (truly) and it's been a positive experience every time. But this last time made me very happy.

I saw Elise yesterday as I was coming back from my exhausting ass-haul run through my favourite park. She was with her grandma and we stopped to chat. After a few minutes of trying to convince her that I was indeed Miss Karen even though I wasn't inside the school, she gave me a big, sweet hug. Her grandma told me that she would be going to a French immersion school this coming September and they had to do an interview with her first to see how much she knew. Her grandmother was impressed at how much she could speak.

Now excuse m while I take all the credit for that. I think it's so important to hear different languages as early as possible so at circle time I'll count, do colours and some calendar stuff in French (and sometimes Sign Language and Hebrew just for shits and giggles). At storytime, I'll often read a book in French as well. They didn't do very much French before I showed up, so I took it upon myself to throw some in on the daily.

Result! As I stood there, all sweaty in the street, I never felt prouder of myself. Okay, I actually have felt prouder but not that day. I walked back home with a smile on my face and a spring in my step and that's saying a lot after a hot, unpleasant attempt at jogging.

So all that to say, I'm a pretty good teacher.


Monday, June 15, 2015

What a month

***I can't even begin to tell you what I've been dealing with the past month. Things have been crazy at work (if you think things can't get crazy at a preschool, you are dead wrong), things have been crazy with my health and things have been crazy with my family life. Not all crazy bad, mind you but crazy busy. Let's break it down shall we?

-We had a girl who worked with us that didn't work out. It happens. But that made the report card split left to just my co-worker Heidi and me. A lot of report cards. A lot.
- Report cards? And did I mention that there are a lot of them? A lot.

- In December, I got a cold. Hey, I work with nearly 60 3-year-olds. It's going to happen. In January, I was still sick. I chalked it up to getting sneezed and coughed upon on the daily. By the time March rolled around and I was still sleeping 9 hours and getting up exhausted, feeling like I'm living underwater, I started thinking it's something else, but I was still too lazy to call the doctor. In April, my co-workers staged an intervention. Fed up with seeing me with kleenex hanging out of my nostrils and hacking constant green ooze, they made me call the doctor in front of them in the lunchroom.

When I finally saw the doc, he told me that because he's never seen me so sick, and I have a history of serious illnesses in my family, I should go get a chest Xray, blood test and a CAT scan of my sinuses. Then he threw the word lymphoma at me. Not cool, Dr. Dick (seriously, that's his name). Not cool.

Anyway, long story short, he gave me some heavy duty drugs in case it was just a sinus infection and they worked within a day. A day, people. I didn't realize how sick I was until I got better. My energy level is through the roof and I feel like a kid again. Still have an appointment for a cat scan, though...***


I started that post about a month ago. I was too busy even to press "publish". Since the last time I posted, I have had motorcycle lessons (failed the final test but still had the lessons), had a dragonboat festival, watched Audrey get a silver medal with her rugby team, took our preschool kids on several field trips, had Mother's Day, went to Comic-Con, baked double sized cupcakes for a friend's wedding, went to that wedding, reconnected with old friends, ran a 5K, gone to a few baseball games, gone to see Ed Sheeran, seen a bunch of movies, babysat a bunch of chicken eggs, celebrated Elliott's 19th birthday, watched Audrey play the flute and cried in my car from stress.

Now I'm finally on summer holidays. I've taken a deep breath and I'm ready to be selfish. I'm going to sleep, read, watch Netflix and catch up on all the stuff I have on the PVR. I'm going to lie in my hammock and take the odd afternoon nap. And I'm not going to feel guilty about it. And the next time I hear anyone say that I'm so lucky to have the summer off I'm going to show them this post and the tear stained dashboard of my car, flick their ear (HARD), tell them I fucking deserve it, and pour myself another Fireball.

Here is a sample of a few of the things I got up to while I was away...

Discovered Fireball whiskey

Visited my friend Heidi's farm (those are our husbands btw)

Baked and cried over these wedding cupcakes

Passed my written motorcycle test

Got my photo taken with Nichelle Nichols

Dressed as 1950s housewife Storm

Posed with an old friend from Montreal (he's Colossus on the far left)

Celebrated my son's 19th

Went to a flute concert

Babysat 41 incubator eggs in our classroom

This was my favourite. Audrey insanely named him "Sanjay"

Went to a wedding

Washed a chicken's ass. Seriously. It was blocked with poop and would have died if I didn't.

Optimistically and prematurely bought a motorcycle jacket

Ran 5K with a friend

Relaxed a the ballpark ready to score the game

Borrowed this bike for 16 hours 

Watched my girl get her first ever silver medal

Enjoyed Ed Sheeran

Bonded with my adult son at yet another ball game

Met a "celebrity". Bruno from Big Brother Canada


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Full disclosure

Okay, I'm publicly admitting it. I like country music. It all started about the end of last year when a radio station I really enjoyed (80s 90s and Whatever) switched to country overnight. My lazy ass refused to change my car presets so country it was. And what do you know? I liked it. I really kinda liked it.

To be honest, I was sneakily listening to country every so often since Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy by Big and Rich came out in 2005. I've had 2 or 3 country songs on my iPod playlist ever since.

One of my favourites has been Florida Georgia Line's Round Here. In the song, they mention Fireball Whiskey. After a while, my curiosity sent me to Google where I found out that it's cinnamon flavoured whiskey. My first instinct was along the lines of yuck and gross. Then today at the liquor store while waiting in line with my 3 bottles of wine (heh), I saw a mickey of the stuff. "What the heck?", I thought. I bought it.

All that to say that I found my new favourite drink. I may like it better than water. Don't judge me.


Notice how much I drank already. On a school night. Just sayin'

Monday, April 13, 2015

FINALLY a nice day, and this happens

I was dying (and I'm not kidding here... literally figuratively dying) to do stuff outside. I've been suffering from cabin fever from the months of freezing weather. Today the weather was glorious. Absolutely amazing after so many crappy, cold days. The forecast for today was to be 20C and all sun.

I was so excited. I got Scott to tune up my bike yesterday afternoon. I packed a knapsack and picked out my clothes before I went to bed. I went to sleep at 10 so I could be full of energy. I even went to my maps app and plotted my route. It would take 20 minutes it said. Perfect.

I like getting to work at around 8 to get my classroom set up for the day so I left this morning at 7:25. I put the school key in the front pocket of my bag so I could open the door. After all, I'd be there before everyone else. Right?

Wrong. The ride started off great but when I hit the bike path was when things took a turn. Or should I say went uphill. I swear the hill was 45 degrees and about a kilometre long. And you know how the most satisfying part of a hill is the down? Well not today. The down was about eight feet down to a red traffic light at the "bottom". Boo. The rest of the ride was at a steady upward grade that I could barely see but my legs and heart sure did. Plus it was on busy freaking streets because the path ran out. Ugh. And where the hell did that crazy wind come from?

By the time I got to work, I was sweaty and bedraggled. I was hot, tired and my legs were water. My heart was beating out of my chest and it took me 15 minutes to catch my breath. Oh and did I mention it was nearly 8:15? It was nearly 8:15. It took me over 45 minutes to go what takes 7 minutes in the car.

I spent the rest of the day whining and complaining about that ride and dreading the ride back. A parent even offered me a ride home and several co-workers (hi Chelsey and Heidi!) suggested I just leave the damned bike at work and bus it home, picking up the stupid thing tomorrow and throwing it in the back of the car.

But nope. I knew that the ride would be downhill most of the way (and it was actually kinda fun to ride the brakes nearly the whole way back) so I put on my big girl panties and went. It only took me 30 minutes this time and as I lay in the grass in my front yard, collapsed with exhaustion, I knew that this bike ride was never to be repeated.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Well, this happened.

I came on here ready to regale you with a humourous take on the time I got fired from my favourite job (besides teaching). I was the receptionist at a place that sold promo items like printed hats and pens. Then they started to ask me to do billing for which I was both unprepared and totally unqualified. I tanked and had to be escorted off the premises by a security guard. But not before I shamefully and tearfully whined and begged the boss not to fire me a month before Christmas. I was never, ever more humiliated than on that day. Anyway, that's beside the point.

The point is that I was thinking about that a lot today and wanted to share that with you. So I rushed home and sat down here at the computer then realized... that job loss was years ago. Maybe I mentioned it already. And sure enough I punched in "fired" in the search bar and there it was. So all that is to say that you now know everything there is to know about me. I have nothing new to say.

**Drops the mike**


(Oh and click here for the original firing post)