Sunday, April 24, 2016

Breakfast at Karen's

I love breakfast. I would eat it for every meal, if I could. The only breakfast food I don't enjoy is Eggs Benedict where the combination of runny egg (which I can barely watch someone else eat) and runny egg sauce makes for a revolting combination. In my eyes. I know others love it so I don't judge. I just silently gag.

I go to the gym Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays and on those days my breakfast is pretty lousy. I grab a frozen bagel which defrosts in my bag while I work out, then eat that freezer burned bagel while I run around setting up my classroom. Yuck.

Friday I found out about overnight oatmeal. Where has this been all my life? I've actually never been an oatmeal person, often equating the mouth-feel to chunky mucus. How, in any way, is that appetizing? No amount of brown sugar can save it. But overnight oatmeal isn't cooked so you don't get that nasty slimyness. Just crunchyness if you use steel cut oats. There are easily a thousand recipes online for it and after trying a chocolate one I didn't care for (not much of a chocolate fan and definitely not for breakfast), I have a strawberry almond one waiting in the fridge for Monday. And I have the added bonus of sitting down to eat it instead of having a U shaped piece of bagel dangling from my mouth while a haul around a mini trampoline.

I actually can't wait to get to work Monday!

kxx (cream cheese cinnamon roll or maple bacon is next...)

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Spring is in the air

The sun is shining, there are crocuses coming up in my garden, the dog is shitting in the house... Wait, what?

Yeah. Every day for the last week we've been finding joyfully smelly surprises in the house. We've restricted his space with a baby gate, hoping to catch him in the act but he slinks away and craps his way right into my bad books. So now he's literally attached to my waist. For the last couple of days he's been tethered to me by his leash and it's been working but honestly, it's a pain to cook with him literally underfoot. But I guess it's better than the alternative being underfoot...

I'm sorry I just realized I'm talking about the dog again. You know, I'm realizing that this mutt may be my last chance to not mess up a living being in this house. So you know what? You guys are going to have to deal with me talking about Wesley for a little while longer.

Peace out, y'all!


Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Ever get that feeling?

I'm happy. Like grinning maniacally for no reason, laughing at "dad jokes"* and feeling skinny kind of happy. Like nothing can go wrong.

Or can it?

I'm skating on thin ice, I think. When is the other shoe going to drop? When am I going to find myself crying in my car? I should be worried but I'm not. I'm in too good of a mood.


*typical dad joke: Q: What time did the man go to the dentist? A: Tooth hurt-y"* See? Hilarious!

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

My house smells freaking fantastic

So my co-worker Kate is having a birthday today (hi Kate!) and she was so hilarious today. Seriously, like a little girl excited about her special day. She was practically skipping. I love my birthday but she was taking it to a new level. I don't understand people who don't love their birthday. Yes, there are other special times of the year like Christmas but your birthday is all yours. No sharing unless you are a twin or unfortunate enough to have someone in your life whose big day is close to yours. Scott and I are 3 days apart and I'll still make myself a cake even though there is usually plenty of his birthday cake left. Although I still believe that mums should get the bulk of the attention. They were the ones who did the painful work. All you did was show up.

Okay, on to the reason my house smells so good. For every birthday the girls at work make a special, delicious fuss, throwing a pot luck of epic proportions in the lunch room that even gets decorated for the occasion. For my part of the lunch, I'm providing bacon jam to go with a warm brie that another co-worker is bringing. It's going to be so yummy.

I know, I know. You are all saying "Karen, stop typing and write out the recipe will you?". My reply to that is: "Are you kidding? I'm not writing anything out. Here's the link"

Bacon jam recipe that I guarantee will make your house smell like probably what heaven smells like unless you are a vegetarian...

Enjoy and may your house smell as awesome as mine while it cooks...


This is actually mine, fresh off the stove. 

Friday, March 18, 2016

Where has my inspiration gone?

When I first started writing this blog, For the most part, topics and ideas used to flow like water. I'd sit at the computer and the words would just splash out. I guess I had a lot to say. For the past few years, a combination of time, other commitments, and I'm going to admit it, the desire hasn't been there. I've been struggling, folks.

I don't know how to get it back. I used to use tricks like just write whatever came to mind for one minute on a timer, and tried websites that gave bloggers a word or prompt to craft a nice little post. But I never find them to be inspiring in the long term. I always feel like I did when forced to do a composition for school. I did it then moved on but it didn't make me feel like I wanted to ever write again. I haven't gotten that far but I do kind of feel more and more that I want to fold this bad boy.

Now that I've written that down, I realize that I don't mean that. Not at all. I love blogging and I think I'm going to blog forever. I'm just going to wait patiently for the fire to come back. I'm going to fake it 'til I make it. And you know what? I think this post itself gave me a little shot in the arm. Huh. Who knew whining would get the old juices flowing?


Thursday, March 10, 2016

Trying not to post about the dog

I really am a nuanced and fascinating person even though I'm a dog mum now. My job is fulfilling, my family, friends and work relationships are great, I've discovered grocery shopping online isn't just for shut-ins and lazy gamers and I'm back to working out regularly in the gym.

That said, just one little photo to get it out of my system...

The man himself and the remains of what happens to anything you attempt to put on his head. Like, say, a party hat for his first birthday or something. 

That was harder than I thought, actually, because I took a ton of photos at his "party". Sad.

I hope you all don't think I've abandoned this blog. I really haven't. I'm just having trouble finding clever things to write. My brain feels like a dried up old raisin. I've been doing this for years and it used to come so easily but lately I not feel brain good. The funny nowhere. I'd blame the dog but it started way before he arrived. Besides, blogging is nothing like farting. Much.

Next week is March Break. While I don't want to make any sweeping, unattainable promises, I think I can manage another blog post. I've been telling anyone who'll listen that my plan for the holiday is to work the perfect ass-groove into the couch so I definitely have the time.

We'll see.


Here are my latest Fluevogs for your viewing pleasure. They aren't in a weird light, they actually are pink orange and blue.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Doggone Dog

I'm still in the honeymoon phase with this guy. Even while scolding Wesley for barking at nothing for 20 minutes or pulling yet another destroyed USB cord from his mouth, when he cocks his head at me, I melt.

Here are another bunch of photos of my dog. And how much do I love saying "my dog"?

He just noticed a squirrel on the windowsill

Looking embarrassed about his Bamm-Bamm Rubble underwear after his ball-ectomy. Poor guy. 

Such a fierce yawn

We would have never gotten Wesley if it wasn't for Audrey. They are a perfect pair.

Rolling around on the couch

He loves the his bull's penis

See? See? There's the head tilt I was telling you about. Gah. How adorable...

It's Valentine's Day and this is a love letter to my doggie. Sad.